Lamont Polling Strong With Goths
A misreading of Gov. Ned Lamont’s name has led to high approval ratings among Connecticut’s underground goth scene according to reports. However, it won’t necessarily translate to votes in future election cycles.
One member of the subculture, going by the name Draco Darkemo, explained the confusion by saying, “So someone saw him on the news and misread his name as Nēd Lament, and it just sort of stuck.”
In January, Lamont’s approval ratings hovered near 65 percent and have remained relatively stable. It is now believed that the Connecticut goth scene accounts for nearly a third of that ranking, making them one of his most important and influential constituent bases.
Or they would be, if they actually voted.
“Most of us really aren’t that political,” said Darkemo. “We just want to wear our clothes and listen to our music and just not be bullied for being objectively cooler than all the normies.”
Connecticut bars and clubs host a number of goth dance party nights, predominantly on slower evenings at established gay bars. Darkemo noted that the culture itself was generally sympathetic to the LGBTQA+ community but not necessarily a part of it.
“There’s a lot of just regular straight guys who aren’t even really goths but they just want to find a dark queen goth dommy mommy. We call it the Rhea Ripley effect,” said Darkemo. It is unclear if Lamont has any connection to Ripley, who is employed by Stamford-based WWE.
When questioned about the preference for traditionally gay clubs, Darkemo pointed out that gay club bartenders poor drinks like they’re giving away the bar. One club is on record for their bartenders just whispering, “cola” after pouring an entire glass of rum.
Lamont would be up for re-election in 2026 but has not yet declared that he will definitely run again. He almost certainly will, because what else is a 70-year-old career politician from Greenwich going to do? Retire?
While beginning his campaign this early might seem excessive, it also might be necessary if he wants to lock in the goth vote as they may need significantly more time to get motivated to action.
“It’s just, like, it’s a lot, you know,” stated Darkemo.
However, Darkemo did have a suggestion that might help get his dark kindred get to the polls when the time comes. He suggested Lamont campaign on the promise to “Make Hot Topic Edgy Again.”
Nēd Lament did not return a request for comment.
About The Author
